Lesson Three

Pushing through the hurt and the pain of life does not happen overnight, nor did Xavier’s progress.  He had to stay in the NICU (Intensive Care unit for infants) for a month leaning how to breathe on his own and then suck from a bottle independently before going home. He did just that and we were so elated when we got the discharge papers. Xay came home with a patch over his right eye, in attempts to build the one that was affected by his third nerve paralysis. He also had hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy, premature lungs, spasticity, seizure disorder, and eczema over most of his body.  

Fighting to live is not always a conscious decision. Sometimes it comes from the cheer fortitude of not wanting to dye. For Xavier, his fight was in his physical existence, but for many of us, it is from the emotional and psychological baggage that comes to weigh us down and handicap us along the way. Learning how to push through it all can be very challenging, but if done, is a benefit that yields great rewards.

Xavier’s first eleven months brought us so much joy. He went from not being able to do anything to following the mobile hanging from his crib, making cooing sounds, drinking from a Sippy cup, and eating stage two foods from a spoon.  He went from crying whenever he was stimulated to falling asleep while getting a bath and a rub. He accomplished one small milestone at a time not knowing which one's were right and which one's were wrong. He just did as he could do regardless to what went against the norm. 

When I reflect back over my life, I find that what held me back from so much of my potential was "myself." I made excuses for why I couldn’t, why I wouldn’t, and why I shouldn’t do a thing. All of my negatives became the evidence that I used to keep me from moving forward to where I truly wanted to be.

This is the third lesson that my grandson taught me: Negatives can only influence you when you take such negatives and allow them to become the dominate influences in your life. Yes bad things have happened, but it was my response that yielded more negative and it was also my response that would bring out the positive in any situation I found myself in. I had the power to choose. I had the power to live according to my intentions and not just live through a response.  My past experiences may have aided in decisions but at no time can I now say that they were the cause.